Audit Escapist Gifts

IRS: 'You can't have it both ways!' 'But I don't want it either way!'

Ethics exam cheater.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

Audio Books

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Nervous Oral Testing

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

Rising Gas Prices

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

Clock watcher

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."