Tax Escapist Gifts

'Welcome aboard. You are now outside the jurisdiction of the IRS.'

'You've got to admit -- no income and no net worth is a terrific tax-avoidance scheme!'

"I've moved...so I can keep my fundraising secret from the IRS"

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

Taking a little mental vacation can help as long as you don't go to mental.

Rising Gas Prices

Workaholic on holiday

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

"Lisa, bring out the Alistair Cheng files and an iced mochaccino, if you will, please."

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

Next, I recall looking down at myself and thinking, God, what a drama queen.

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Now, dear, I spent 35 years pretending to look busy. I can't just quit overnight!'

"Then I wake up, the cheering has stopped, I have three kids, and I work in a cubicle."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

Clock watcher

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"My God!....Will this presentation never end?"

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

'Hold my calls. I'm going out for a random walk.'

Politician back home

"You're in cubicle 1,962. If you get lost in there, I'll send a drone in to guide you."

Do not resuscitate.