Noise Hater Gifts

Confucius say: shut up.

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

Music for car stereos

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Car with enormous speakers, "I said, I love the speakers!"

Library Grand Opening

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

Playing dustbins

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

"Turn down the bass."

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

Communication

Election Cancelling Headphones

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

"Here's the deal. I'll stop playing my bagpipes when you stop playing your banjo."

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

"You don't like my new whistle?"

"Hello dear- couldn't you sleep either?"

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'Will you turn off your Hi-Fi'