Noise Tamer Gifts

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Storm in the out tray

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Noisy energy?

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Getting Rid of the Cure

The weightless office.

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

The Clipping

"There's you panicking about monkeys all over the car and they haven't come anywhere near us!"

File room: A subsidiary of the black hole of the universe

'Oh it's YOU, Mike! For a moment, I thought I heard the tormented howl of a caged animal!'

'Except...That.'

Wonder Woman!

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

"This house is so noisy, I invested in a bigger speaker."

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will make an annoying 'BEEEEP' sound....'

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

Rational explanations

Desk Tray: 'In One Ear' and 'Out The Other'

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

After a lifetime of chasing that elusive creature, Alvin stopped to reassess his time management skills.

Mum feeds teens with shovel

'What do you mean, you were here first?'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker