Tune Tamer Gifts

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'What do you mean, you were here first?'

In Case of Emergency' a music teacher looks at a big set of earplugs.

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

New Swiss Army Knife

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

Dentist Training School.

'They've been in there all day writing the job description.'

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

"Most projects require three hands."

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

Dave had yet to master his new nail machine gun.

"He used to fetch my paper, but now that I read online he's my IT support."

"My turn."

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

Menace.

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

"Edgar, you've been retired for three years now. Why don't you loosen your tie?"

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

"So typical. Hurry up and wait."

"I know that pretty tune! You're the bloke who tinkles away in all those tv documentaries. Irritating!"

'Of all times to have a dance tune get stuck in my head.'

"This one's too smart. Do you have one with only a high school education?"

Scrapyard Worker

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"It keeps people from falling asleep during meetings."