Decibel Tamer Gifts

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

Beware of the Undergrowth.

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Computer Time Bomb.

'He micromanages all our trades.'

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

"My turn."

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"I'm so relieved to have ended up down here rather than up there, I can't stand heights!"

'What do you mean, you were here first?'