Decibel Tamer Gifts

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

Not you. Your hair.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

'He left for the office in a bit of a temper!'

Beware of the Undergrowth.

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

'I told you he had a temper.'

"I replaced my G.P.S with auto correct, and every time I try to go right, it makes me go write...."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'OK, Connor. Tell me about this big, scary monster that you feel is under your bed at night.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Kid, I'm begging you, please stop farting."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"My turn."

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

'He micromanages all our trades.'

'There's a real reason that I hate Google, but right at this moment I forget what that is.'

Computer Time Bomb.

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"I'm so relieved to have ended up down here rather than up there, I can't stand heights!"