Noise Neutralizers Gifts

'Excuse me, would you mind taking your teleconference to another compartment?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

Noisy energy?

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

Election Cancelling Headphones

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

'Oh it's YOU, Mike! For a moment, I thought I heard the tormented howl of a caged animal!'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

"This house is so noisy, I invested in a bigger speaker."

Rational explanations

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will make an annoying 'BEEEEP' sound....'

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

Must you always be so negative?

"I find that incessant barking eases the pain."

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

Nature Magnified

"O.K., she's sitting down to write in three....two....one...."

I've found it! It was in the bread box! You've found the lost cellphone! SMASH! CRASH BOP! SMASH! Today's feature is offered as a catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a cellphone and been forced to listen to its low-battery beep from some undiscovered place. SMASH. Final beep (Death).

Echo Hills - Please bear with us while we lower the decibel level.

"Do you really think installing a solar panel will satisfy the anti-nukes crowd?"

"I hate to say this, but I miss the days when all he did was stare at his phone."

Sneeze Police

The neighbour of the beast

"Shh, too much racket."

Mass Piano Instruction in Communal Home

Planet of the Slightly Irritating Squeaky Things.

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

Travelling alarm clock for the modern urbanite

'Not while I am the librarian.'