Noise Reducer Gifts

'Cotton wool' behind glass 'In case of fire alarm break glass'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Noisy energy?

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

'Oh it's YOU, Mike! For a moment, I thought I heard the tormented howl of a caged animal!'

"You can tell beaches are closed - there's less trash."

Election Cancelling Headphones

'If I was wearing my 'what'?!'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"This house is so noisy, I invested in a bigger speaker."

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

Rational explanations

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

Father nails piano lid shut.

"Listen! Hear that? Nothing is beeping!"

'For the next sixty seconds, this station will make an annoying 'BEEEEP' sound....'

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

"Shh, too much racket."

The neighbour of the beast

Sneeze Police

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

Planet of the Slightly Irritating Squeaky Things.

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

'Not while I am the librarian.'

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

People asking a robin to be quiet.

Noise Abatement Society

"I don't know which soundbar the neighbor is using, but I wish they would turn it down a bit."

Noise abatement society - Hush.

Elevator volume control.

Noise pollution

"Your dad doesn't want to see or hear any comments on his social media page. Please explain to him how to turn them off."

Golf Putt