Noise Controllers Gifts

Sneeze Police

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

Cat and Broom

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

Ding and Dong.

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

"Shh, too much racket."

The neighbour of the beast

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

"Stop the barking .50"

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

If you two don't keep the noise down, I'll have to separate you.

Noise Abatement Society

Noise abatement society - Hush.

"I don't know which soundbar the neighbor is using, but I wish they would turn it down a bit."

"Hold on, let me put you on megaphone."

Elevator volume control.

"Don't you find the ringing of one's mobile phone most annoyingly irritating, Terence, my good fellow?"

Man on mobile on train - 'You'll have to speak up, they've put a really annoying TV in the carriage...'

Noise pollution

'I wish you'd tell the crowd to be quiet when the ball is in play!'

'Attaboy, Bill...Bark us right into house arrest...'

Noisy Neighbours

Stopping the Cuckoo Clock.

'Cotton wool' behind glass 'In case of fire alarm break glass'

"One way to prevent chatter is to alter your speed. Those RPMs are far too high for that size job." "Earplugs, another good way to stop the chatter."

'I wish someone would steal that car...!'

"You might want to put these on, our neighbours have had wooden floors fitted."

'The people downstairs have been complaining that we're too noisy, so the landlord wants us to wear these from now on.'

Novel Niche Markets.

"Please turn off mobiles so as not to spoil others' enjoyment of the elevator music."