Noise Control Guru Gifts

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

Cat and Broom

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

"Shh, too much racket."

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

The neighbour of the beast

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

Sneeze Police

"Stop the barking .50"

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

"Hold on, let me put you on megaphone."

Noise abatement society - Hush.

"I don't know which soundbar the neighbor is using, but I wish they would turn it down a bit."

"We've built so much good will with the neighbors. Let's not use it up with compulsive vacuuming."

Noise Abatement Society

"Don't you find the ringing of one's mobile phone most annoyingly irritating, Terence, my good fellow?"

Noise pollution

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"Hey, whoa, kids! Remember that we have to be extra quiet when mommy's in her remote working cubicle."

Stopping the Cuckoo Clock.

Noisy Neighbours

"Blimey! Those floorboards are squeaky..."

'I wish you'd tell the crowd to be quiet when the ball is in play!'

'Attaboy, Bill...Bark us right into house arrest...'

"One way to prevent chatter is to alter your speed. Those RPMs are far too high for that size job." "Earplugs, another good way to stop the chatter."

'I said - we can't even cover our ears!'

'I wish someone would steal that car...!'

"Please turn off mobiles so as not to spoil others' enjoyment of the elevator music."

'In heaven, the angels play their harps continuously.'