Noise Control Guru Gifts

If you two don't keep the noise down, I'll have to separate you.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

Cat and Broom

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

'You can't come in to play unless you wear cushions on your feet - My Dad's got a headache!'

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

And he thinks I can't hear the TV.

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

"Stop the barking .50"

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

"Shh, too much racket."

The neighbour of the beast

Sneeze Police

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

"I don't know which soundbar the neighbor is using, but I wish they would turn it down a bit."

"Hold on, let me put you on megaphone."

"We've built so much good will with the neighbors. Let's not use it up with compulsive vacuuming."

Noise abatement society - Hush.

Noise Abatement Society

"Don't you find the ringing of one's mobile phone most annoyingly irritating, Terence, my good fellow?"

Noise pollution

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"Hey, whoa, kids! Remember that we have to be extra quiet when mommy's in her remote working cubicle."

Noisy Neighbours

Stopping the Cuckoo Clock.

"Blimey! Those floorboards are squeaky..."

'Attaboy, Bill...Bark us right into house arrest...'

'I wish you'd tell the crowd to be quiet when the ball is in play!'

"One way to prevent chatter is to alter your speed. Those RPMs are far too high for that size job." "Earplugs, another good way to stop the chatter."

'I wish someone would steal that car...!'

'I said - we can't even cover our ears!'

"Please turn off mobiles so as not to spoil others' enjoyment of the elevator music."