Noise Manager Gifts

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"I normally scream and cry on car rides, but I'm saving it all up for when we get on our flight"

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

Cat and Broom

"Unfortunately, father never quite got over being asked to reform the band for Live Aid in the '80s."

'Rock and roll's so middle class nowadays.'

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

And on facilitation...

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

Sweet dreams induced by screaming cats

"And last but not least, organizational psychologist Ron Haynes, who limits my switching of guitars to at least every other song."

"It's the U.N. inspectors, Michael. They want access to your room."

"The safest way back into the charts is a dramatic death after a party with girls, booze, and drugs!"

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

"I'm adding the laundry room and kitchen to your GPS. Judging by all the clothes and dishes in your room, you don't know the locations."

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

Sneeze Police

"Bad news. You China Shop tour has been cancelled."

"Shh, too much racket."

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

'My manager thought this might help me sell a few more CDs.'

Noisy Budgie

"Sorry guys, the labels decided it's time to give up touring."

The neighbour of the beast

"Stop the barking .50"