Noise Management Master Gifts

'I can't stop the toilet from running. If I did, we'd be able to hear the dripping faucet.'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

Cat and Broom

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

Novel airport noise abatement procedures.

Midwife presents a baby with its own volume control: 'Finally, evolution has done its thing.'

"In space, there is no sound. Except those - we can still hear those @#%* things."

'We'd better go clean our rooms - Mom's getting serious.'

"Sometimes Gramps can make the whole house shake!"

Drum School/Sleep Clinic/Fire Alarm Testing Lab

Noisy Budgie

"Shh, too much racket."

Sneeze Police

'Don't you 'shh' me.'

The neighbour of the beast

'I'm a bird person. If he screams, I put a cover over his cage.'

'Oh yes, occasionally he's very boisterous.'

"Stop the barking .50"

'You taught him to speak, now teach him to turn down the volume!'

Noisy Neighbours

"Jimmy's asking Santa for a drum set. I'm asking him for ear plugs."

Noise Abatement Society

"We've built so much good will with the neighbors. Let's not use it up with compulsive vacuuming."

"Hey! Turn down your damn white-noise machine!"

"Hold on, let me put you on megaphone."

Noise abatement society - Hush.

"Don't you find the ringing of one's mobile phone most annoyingly irritating, Terence, my good fellow?"

Noise pollution

'It's the people downstairs again.'

Captain Pointy No.25 - Mistake to give Spasm Man the tray

'Attaboy, Bill...Bark us right into house arrest...'

"Not everyone wants to listen to your audio-book."

Noisy Neighbours

'I wish you'd tell the crowd to be quiet when the ball is in play!'