Navigation Neophyte Gifts

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

Lost around a military base.

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

Recalculating!

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

If business gets any worse I'll have to start laying off relatives.

'It doesn't show it on this map....'

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

"I know you hate being told what to do, but it's the GPS. That's its job."

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

"Admit it, you're lost!"

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'

Global Positioning System - ERROR Your big fat head is in the way

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

"Just great...on my first day on the job."

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

'I blame it on the GPS-System myself: Hardly anybody gets lost around here anymore...'

Nurse has painted target of patient's butt.

"Let's stop and ask directions at Alpha Centauri, I said, but oh no, Mister clever stalks knows the way alright!"

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'