Nautical Neophyte Gifts

'You heard the man, Harold. It's a formal cruise--go back to the room and put on your black flip-flops.'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

When laundry ruled the waves.

The Dubloon Stops Here

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Battery Lighthouse

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

Pirate

Pirate eye test

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"And you guarantee it's free if it isn't delivered within thirty minutes?"

"Aye, 'tis the elusive Moby Dick!"

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

'Cap'n Ahab, Sir! Starbuck wants to know if you fancy a coffee.'

Clam Spearing

Sub Editor

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

Really Early Vikings