Needle Neophyte Gifts

Nurse has painted target of patient's butt.

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

Woman knitting a washing line.

Successful vaccination

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

Acupressure Gauge

"This is just the kind of thing healthcare reform should be trying to stop."

"Somehow, I feel that this site and Stonehenge are connected!"

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

CLINIC, 'Are you worried about passing your blood test?', 'Heck, no -- anybody can BLEED.'

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"Just one more..."

Nurse sharpening a needle before an injection.

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

'You heard the man, Harold. It's a formal cruise--go back to the room and put on your black flip-flops.'

"See, I told you it would hurt me as much as it would hurt you."

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

'I've changed my mind, I'm using all mine!'

"I have inoculation issues."

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

Cactus says to other cactus: 'I think the acupuncture is working.'