Needle-point Gifts

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

Self help acupuncture

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Coronavirus world

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

I love embroidery

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

Knitted Kitty.

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

octopus knitting a jumper...

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Acupuncture clinic

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

"This is just the kind of thing healthcare reform should be trying to stop."

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

"Numb yet?"

Bless this horse

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'