Needlepoint Buddy Gifts

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

Self help acupuncture

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Coronavirus world

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

I love embroidery

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

Woman knitting a washing line.

Knitted Kitty.

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Acupuncture clinic

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

"This is just the kind of thing healthcare reform should be trying to stop."

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

"Numb yet?"

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

"I've asked you repeatedly not to startle me when I'm working!"

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

"I can quit whenever I want to."

Acupuncture darts.

'And a couple more should relieve your back-pain Sir...'

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

"Have you tried acupuncture. . .?"

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'