Needlepoint Lover Gifts

Comb Sweet Comb.

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Acupuncture clinic

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

"This is just the kind of thing healthcare reform should be trying to stop."

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

Acupuncture darts.

'And a couple more should relieve your back-pain Sir...'

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

"Have you tried acupuncture. . .?"

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'Enough acupuncture - get me a couple of aspirin.'

Specimen of Mr Punch's Industrial Exhibition of 1850 (to be improved in 1851)

'I don't know. I'll see how long it gets.'

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

Zorro repairs his trousers.

How does that feel? Inaccupuncture.

I get knocked down and I stay there

Before Powerpoint Presentations

Needlepoint Viewpoint

Knitting ball

'Isn't that an awful big needle for such a tiny dog?'

Hem-orrhoids.