Needlepoint Aficionado Gifts

It's seasonal depression time!

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

I love embroidery

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Acupuncture clinic

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

'Don't tell anybody, I'm expecting a doll.'

"I have bad news, but it's in bullet points!"

'He fainted when he saw the needle.'

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

"Can you come back with that three year study summarised in six or less powerpoint bulletpoints?"

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

Acupunture Clinic opens next to a Ballon Animal shop.

"How may I hurt you?"

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupunture needles should go?"

Acupuncture darts.

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

'And a couple more should relieve your back-pain Sir...'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

"Have you tried acupuncture. . .?"

Man and woman knitting together.

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'Enough acupuncture - get me a couple of aspirin.'