Needlepoint Navigator Gifts

Grandma Knits Up A Storm

The Life of Pi

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

Number Phobia.

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

'Exit left in 300 yards.'

'I used to give directions by naming all the pubs along the route - I'm as lost as you are now!'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

A woman needlepoints a barcode.

Safety pin helping pins cross street safely.

'Could you turn me around the other way?'

Porcupine reading book on 'Needlepoint'

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"Just one more..."

Nurse sharpening a needle before an injection.

'We will need a standard resume in addition to this beautiful needlepoint recommendation from your mother.'

"See, I told you it would hurt me as much as it would hurt you."

'Please Miss, I know what comes before 8. My school bus!'

'I knew insects wouldn't take over the world...numbers will!'

Acupuncture Treatment Room. My acupuncturist used placebos on me today.

Chinese noodles.

'I've changed my mind, I'm using all mine!'

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Dear Sadie, I'm twelve years old and I still can't make a half-court shot in basketball. What should I do? - Moe. Moe, I know you want a quick fix, but there's no substitute for hard work. Master the half-court shot the way I mastered needle-point, practice five hours a day for seventy-five years … while giving your competitors backhanded compliments. With diligence, you'll eventually outlive anyone who knows your failings … which means they never

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'