Needle Navigators Gifts

"I've been sitting on pins and needles...ever since my wife started sewing!"

Safety pin helping pins cross street safely.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

The Life of Pi

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'What do you mean I don't take time to smell the flowers?'

One way only.

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Flowers are the sex organs of the gods."

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

Books 'n' Carrots

Number Phobia.

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

My boat

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Niche Marketing

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

Let's start a book group to read stuff that will help us cope with our lives. Like? You know: Self-help books on housekeeping, child-rearing and navigating difficult workplace situations. Suggestions? Yeah. Jane Eyre, Gone with the Wind and The Devil Wears Prada. The great books series.

"Uh oh. It's the kids...and they're flying back!"

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

"He's in a critical condition"

Parents sleeping on big pile of nappies while baby sleeps in bed

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

"Okay, so I've outgrown my niche in Organizational Behavior. I'll re-niche."

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

'Could you turn me around the other way?'

"Just one more..."

Nurse sharpening a needle before an injection.

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'