Knot Navigators Gifts

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

One way only.

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

Books 'n' Carrots

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

Broken ankle.

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

"And would you like to continue paying no taxes at the 15, 10 or 20% rate?"

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'Sweet dreams Darling: Have a good day...'

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

"Uh oh. It's the kids...and they're flying back!"

'Once he stopped sticking me with needles, I felt great!'

Tourists and GPS

"I know you're just trying to be helpful, but why don't you let me decide where my acupuncture needles should go?"

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"Just one more..."

'I think there's something wrong with our navigational system, because judging by the icebergs, I don't think we're in the Caribbean.'

Nurse sharpening a needle before an injection.

"See, I told you it would hurt me as much as it would hurt you."

'I've changed my mind, I'm using all mine!'

'It's 700 pages. I just don't think I'm ready for that type of commitment.'

Chinese noodles.