Nicotine Navigators Gifts

Stop Smoking Programe.

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

Number Phobia.

"Oh shut up."

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

"And would you like to continue paying no taxes at the 15, 10 or 20% rate?"

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

"You must cut down on your smoking."

Pick a direction.

Parents sleeping on big pile of nappies while baby sleeps in bed

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"I hope that the next time you dive into a good book, you first check to see how deep it is!"

Moral Ambiguity

Snooze Cruise

Napquest

Swerving and arguning lane

'Yes, please, go on and on about the interaction between the wine's bouquet and the various inner parts of your nose.'

'Please Miss, I know what comes before 8. My school bus!'

"It's all me, me, me, with you - it's like the world revolves around YOU all the time!"