Nepotism Navigator Gifts

'A musician? Why don't you get a serious job, son? Come to work for me.'

"I see here on your resume you're my daughter's husband."

"I see from your resume, your father owns a 45% of the company stock"

If business gets any worse I'll have to start laying off relatives.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Death By Mattress

'A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into making the company what it is today! My father worked hard for what I've got.'

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

Book Shop.

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

From the tournament of neuroses parade

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"In preparation for the AP English Literature test, I've focused my reading on books reflecting a common idea, that they end in fewer than 200 pages."

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

"Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?"

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

"You must cut down on your smoking."

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

'Whoa, rough landing! Are you guys okay?'

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."