Neuroses Navigator Gifts

'Don't let it bother you - heck, some people think I'm nuts!'

If business gets any worse I'll have to start laying off relatives.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

Death By Mattress

'Yes, he's neurotic - It's a common condition with neurologists.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"He took that kinda hard."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."

From the tournament of neuroses parade

"Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?"

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

Pick Your Own Neuroses

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

Apple Picking 2020

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

Jocasta Mothering.

"I knew it. I just KNEW it. How long have I had this condition, doctor? Is there a cure? Oh, God, it just had to be disease, didn't it..." Cathy finds out that she has hypochondria.

'Well, he still has his neuroses, but at least I cured his insomnia.'

'Oh, come on — nobody can feel that inferior.'

An Industrial Inferiority Complex. '... Nobody likes me ... other industries are better than me ... I'm only slightly neurotic.'

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

"I see from your resume, your father owns a 45% of the company stock"

'Lately life's just a bed of neuroses.'