Nervous Navigator Gifts

"When I let out a blood curdling yell and scream 'Jesus Christ you're going to kill someone' I'd like you to apply the brakes..."

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Well, you turned up, Mr. Timpkins, that's one thing at least.'

Driving Instructor panicking.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

"If you hear me scream . . . Dear God, Jesus Christ, what are you doing, then I want you to apply your foot to the brake!"

"This machine measures my stress levels. If at any point this red light comes on the date is over."

Caution! Stupid driver!

'After your last lesson, I'm not taking any chances!'

Your daughter takes to driving like a crash dummy to an airbag.

"No, that isn't the engine knocking. That's my knees!"

Driving Instructor: Get-U-Thru.

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Department of Nanotechnology

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

This new writer we've got is really working out, dear. I feel reinvigorated! Like someone's breathed new life into me! Why, I feel like anything can happen now! Like we can do things that are out of the ordinary! things we almost never do. I said Not tonight, dear.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'