Neurological Navigator Gifts

"Welcome to the Tourette Foundation's ceremonial swearing in of our new president."

The Life of Pi

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

Number Phobia.

Man at door of Think Tank sees signs Closed Now a Thought Tank.

"Oh shut up."

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'Yes, he's neurotic - It's a common condition with neurologists.'

"He took that kinda hard."

Death By Mattress

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Maybe YOU'RE projecting!'

From the tournament of neuroses parade

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."

"Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?"

Pick a direction.

"Dad, how often have I told you there's no point in trying to start an argument with the sat-nav?"

'Sit tight — I'm going to call for backup.'

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

Ok, ok, we'll discuss your issues with personal space again.

'You could work at any fortune 500 company... Why have you applied at our little shop?'

Pick Your Own Neuroses

"Lately life is just a bed of neuroses."

We made great progress today, but I think we need a few more sessions.

Jocasta Mothering.

'I never know which side to start on.'