Navigating Medical Expenses Gifts

Health Costs

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

I came for my daughter. She was hurt in gym? Your husband took her to the hospital. West Fester High School. Is my daughter, Twig Tree, here? Emergency. Your husband took her home. Isn't there anything I can do? Of course there is! Your insurance card, please. I am a good mother!

"I don't want treatment, just an insurance estimate."

"Doctor, could you prescribe something that will help me figure out my part D drug coverage?"

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

I've done all I can do, so I'm referring you to a specialist in financial planning.

"But I'm not well yet."

Martin Health M.D. - practice limited to six figure diseases.

'You don't have to pay me yet.'

"You feel like a million bucks? Great! I'll tell our billing department"

'What kinda miracle drug costs only $6!'