Dealing With Medical Bills Gifts

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

"He has sticker shock from his health care costs, doctor..."

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

"Good news! Your health care provider has agreed to pay for that tongue depressor I used on you. However, you will have to pay for everything else."

'When you have your health, you have everything except money to pay for healthcare.'

"This is the patient, doctor..."

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'

'We've upgraded your position from critical to costly.'

"No need to rush down - it's only the gas bill."