Facing Medical Bills Gifts

'Don't pay the doctor...'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"For healthy older patients like yourself who are running out of money, I prescribe red meat, fat, and booze."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy...diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress!"

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

"He has sticker shock from his health care costs, doctor..."

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

"I don't want treatment, just an insurance estimate."

'The pain went away as soon as you said it would cost 40,000 dollars!'

"I forgot to tell the doctor that it also hurts when I do THIS."

"Good news! Your health care provider has agreed to pay for that tongue depressor I used on you. However, you will have to pay for everything else."

"This is the patient, doctor..."

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'

'I'll need to run a few more tests. . . to cover my daughter's orthodontia.'