Medical Bills Gifts

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

"But I'm not well yet."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

Eye, ear, nose, throat and loans to pay the bills.

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"I charge by the grain."

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

Doctor to man: 'You'll need to empty your pockets. For symbolic purposes, let's start with your wallet.'

Medical Billing & Coding

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

'The computer links me to other doctors, so I can see how much they're charging for tests.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"Doctor Wilson believes in preventive financing, so regardless of your insurance, fill out this loan application form."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

"The doctor will bill you now."

"I can't wait until we convert to electronic health records. Carry these is giving me backache."