Medical Bill Avoider Gifts

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'The doctor's office said you cancelled your appointment and put a restraining order on the rest of them.'

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

Is there any history of not paying medical bills in your family? M.D.

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Doctor Wilson believes in preventive financing, so regardless of your insurance, fill out this loan application form."

"The doctor will bill you now."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"I can't wait until we convert to electronic health records. Carry these is giving me backache."

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

'How come routine care breeds intensive billing?'

'Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it still remains so popular?'

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

'Don't pay the doctor...'

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'