Bill Avoider Gifts

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"I've consolidated all our bills into one missed payment."

"I think the plumber wants his bill paid!"

Is there any history of not paying medical bills in your family? M.D.

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

'I have a terrible fear of paying bills.'

Island Rent Due.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

Email Notifications

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

'It's not flying I'm afraid of -- it's driving to the airport!'

'This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'.'

'Every single piece of homework handed in this morning - there couldn't have been much on TV last night!'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

'Oh, Goody, football - we'll be able to talk without feeling we're missing something.'

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

"I've hung all the credit card bills on the tree, maybe that will stop you going to the sales."

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'

'Eloise! This feller says he's 'a gent named Iris' and wants to talk to us about Texas.'

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

'My last book did not have a happy ending. I had to pay a fine.'

The new, improved "Hide-A-Dysfunction" Slip Cover

'I claim Sanctuary!'