Bill Aversion Gifts

'It's the credit card bill.'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

I am billing, therefore I am.

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

"I charge by the grain."

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

"Say aaargh!" (Dentist presents his bill to a patient).

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

"It's a great invention, but what if it leads to UTILITY BILLS?"

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Wow. That guy on psychic chat line is really good. He told me our next phone bill would be bigger than usual!"

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'See you same time next year!'

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'

'After seeing the latest fuel bills your Dad's gone nuclear!'

'I must warn you; reading your bill may cause heart palpitations,cold sweat,stomach cramps,nausea...'

"Penny for your thoughts? I'm a solicitor, it'll cost you five hundred!"

'Your father can't come to the phone right now, he's stuck in his ways.'

"It's a quote from the builder, he says that the $2000 will just cover the cost of him coming over to laugh at us!"

We use all the latest painless procedures, so now a visit only hurts at the end when you get the bill.

"Final demand! Does that mean they'll stop pestering us?"

Island Rent Due.

'I have a terrible fear of paying bills.'

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

"I've consolidated all our bills into one missed payment."

"I think the plumber wants his bill paid!"

'I suddenly feel car sick. The annual insurance bill has just arrived.'

Protection from technology

'I know you hate commercials, but must you surf for them just so you can mute them?'

My mobile phone bill keeps giving me headaches every time I get the bill!