Medical Bill Wizard Gifts

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

Medical Billing & Coding

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'Bypass? This is more like a bill for an overpass!'

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

Business restraining law firms

'Tell me if this hurts.'

"Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy...diminish pain and protect you from the damaging effects of stress!"

'A lot of this has been going around. It comes from wondering who's going to pay for health insurance.'

"He has sticker shock from his health care costs, doctor..."

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

'The pain went away as soon as you said it would cost 40,000 dollars!'

'When you have your health, you have everything except money to pay for healthcare.'

'Take two of these, stuff them waaaay up your nostrils and leave them there until you've paid your bill from three months ago.'

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

"Good news! Your health care provider has agreed to pay for that tongue depressor I used on you. However, you will have to pay for everything else."

"This is the patient, doctor..."

'We've upgraded your position from critical to costly.'

"The nice part is you're in the right place for resucitation if you pass out from the bill."