Medical Billing Guru Gifts

"The nice part is you're in the right place for resucitation if you pass out from the bill."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

Exploring Healthcare Careers

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

'Nothing about universal health care?'

Medical Billing & Coding

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

Man robbed by medical center.

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."