Medical Billing Professional Gifts

"Our hospital is dedicated to cost transparency for our patients. I think you'll find our prices are so transparent you can't even see them."

'Your health insurance company says you misspelled your name on the application.'

'The X-rays show that you still have a lot of money in your wallet.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

A midwife holding a baby

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"Surgery up here is free!"

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Right, before we look at the covid figures for today, do we need another sheet of paper?"

"My blood pressure stays fine, Doctor, as long as nothing comes between me and my fishing."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Say 'eh.'"

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"I stand corrected."

"I think it stopped breathing."

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"We think it has something to do with your genome."