Medical Billing Buff Gifts

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Exploring Healthcare Careers

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

"I charge by the grain."

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

'Nothing about universal health care?'

Medical Billing & Coding

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

Man robbed by medical center.

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."