Hospital Billing Specialist Gifts

'Try to hold on as long as you can, sir -- we'll start operating as soon as your check clears.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

"We found a problem with your bill. It's too low. But I'm confident we can get it into the unaffordabe range soon."

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

Exploring Healthcare Careers

"He's a whiz kid."

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

"I charge by the grain."

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

'Nothing about universal health care?'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

Medical Billing & Coding

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

Man robbed by medical center.

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."