Hospital Billing Staff Gifts

''You're in luck. Happy hour prices.''

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'