Hospital Employees Gifts

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"He just said his first word!"

Coronavirus Waves

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Coronavirus Global Alert

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Vaccine Spring

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'