Working In Hospitals Gifts

Once entangled, clashing male doctors usually die a slow death by starvation.

"It's her nine-month anniversary working at the hospital."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Coronavirus Global Alert

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'Look mum and dad! They let me keep my appendix!' - A young book excitedly showing off his appendix to his arriving parents.

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."