Hospital Worker Gifts

'Sure we're underfunded, but we manage!'

"People make a fuss about qualifications but with a bit of common sense anyone can do what these medical types do!"

Gross anatomy. Not so bad anatomy

Coronavirus Global Alert

'You'll have to come in over the weekend to attend some training on managing a healthy 'work/life' balance!'

'You realize, Dr. Burke, that should anything go wrong, the hospital will disavow any knowledge of your actions.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

'I swear to God, I think they were trying to kill me.'

"Could I take some of this food home with me?I'd like to break our dog from begging!"

Thank you to our awesome NHS staff

To help themselves de-stress, nurses at Dorfmont Hospital liked to unleash leaf blowers on unsuspecting patients.

Medical Heroes

Heroes

The creationist patient.

"I'm a bit late. Mind if we go to the floor below the morgue first?"

'Opened up a restaurant that served hospital food.'

Paramedics.

I'm afraid he has third degree Burns.

Paramedic waiting outside a door with hazard signs.

"Bad news Honey the hospital downsized me"

"Oh dear, this is awkward."

Oscar Jennings, unregistered nurse.

'Yes, a bucket fell on it.'

"I'm against mixed wards too"

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

"Chill Dude, I'm not DEATH. I'm the Near Death Experience..."

ER, The Musical: 'I'm a medic...' 'n' I'm a medic...' 'They're a paramedics!'

"Somehow, I can't consider taking home all the hospital food I want as a perk for working here."

"Coo-ee, Mister Bagshaw! You've got visitors"

Opportunities in Coronatimes

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."