Medical Billing Philosopher Gifts

'You know, your estate never did pay my bill!'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"Look on the dark side."

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

'Nothing about universal health care?'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

"Treat the disease, not the patient"

Medical Billing & Coding

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

Man robbed by medical center.

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

'The X-rays show that you still have a lot of money in your wallet.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'Don't worry, I'll do all I can for you until your health insurance cancels you for getting sick.'

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

Malpractice Problems

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'