Medical Billing Philosopher Prints

'You know, your estate never did pay my bill!'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"Look on the dark side."

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

"Treat the disease, not the patient"

'Nothing about universal health care?'

Medical Billing & Coding

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

Man robbed by medical center.

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'Don't worry, I'll do all I can for you until your health insurance cancels you for getting sick.'

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

Malpractice Problems

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'