Medical Billing Clerk Gifts

"I happened to drive by your house a few days ago, so I'm charging you for a partial house call."

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

"I did warn you about the after effects."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

Medical Billing & Coding

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

'Nothing about universal health care?'

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

Man robbed by medical center.

"Sorry, we stopped putting calls through to the accounts department... People kept ringing up and asking us for payments!"

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"That's guy's got 12 personalities...address his bill 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'