Medical Billing Clerk Prints

"I happened to drive by your house a few days ago, so I'm charging you for a partial house call."

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

"I did warn you about the after effects."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I decide reimbursement rates at the Healthcare Exchange of Oz!'

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

'You'll be happy to know there's nothing wrong with you. That will be four thousand, three hundred and eighty two dollars.'

'Nothing about universal health care?'

Medical Billing & Coding

'The doctor told me to avoid stress and then sends me a bill for $670.00.'

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

Man robbed by medical center.

'I'd like a diagnosis of the disease and a prognosis of the bill.'

"Sorry, we stopped putting calls through to the accounts department... People kept ringing up and asking us for payments!"

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'The X-rays show that you still have a lot of money in your wallet.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

"That's guy's got 12 personalities...address his bill 'To Whom It May Concern.'"

"He's had several billing procedures named after him."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."