Billing Guru Gifts

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

The MBA Draft

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Career opportunities

"Uh-Oh..."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

Early Business Planning

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"I think you might need to start again."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Investing your savings

Target your message

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'The company's in great shape financially. Hey, a bent but still usable staple!'

Roasting the Moneybox

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

'I've moved from being cautiously optimistic to being optimistically cautious.'