Billing Wizard Gifts

Business restraining law firms

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

Maybe clean out your wallet

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'Wow, my own desk!'

Making money for investors is simple

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'

I am billing, therefore I am.

"Taxation, meet Representation."

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

"Gee, Dave, a proposal to balance the budget wasn't really what I was expecting."