Medical Bill Navigator Gifts

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"Doctor Wilson believes in preventive financing, so regardless of your insurance, fill out this loan application form."

"The doctor will bill you now."

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"I can't wait until we convert to electronic health records. Carry these is giving me backache."

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

Cut rate clinic: 'Attention! All medical personnel must wash their hands 2/ soP & WATER AFTER EVERY 10TH patient'

'Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it still remains so popular?'

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'How come routine care breeds intensive billing?'

"Make an appointment for Mr. Rodgers for a follow-up billing."

"It says here you've got a high threshold of pain. I'm going to present you with your bill now."

"You think the rash and fever is bad? Wait til you see this bill!"

'When you have your health, you have everything except money to pay for healthcare.'

'When does the plaster come off?'

'Let's begin your exam with a simple coordination test. Swipe your credit card.'

'We've upgraded your position from critical to costly.'

'Dr Krantz referred you to me? I was going to refer you to Dr Kranz.'

'Do you bulk bill?'

'Isn't it amazing that this piece of machinery can keep you alive forever...at $300 an hour!'